Stressed of Sheffield
I have to say that I am finding this period of our ‘home education journey’ incredibly stressful at the moment. I really wish there wasn’t this big ‘thing’ about learning to read and about it being the be all and end all of everything. So much value is placed on this one skill and with that comes this pre concieved idea of it being learned before the kids get to around about age 7 (this is the biggie I think, so many times have a I read stuff that implies if you learn to read early you are clever, but that is so not true for everyone). So now that M is at age 7 and not reading for pleasure yet, I’m really feeling it.
I will say however, that I am one of the biggest culprits of what I’ve just said. One part of me says that it’s not the be all and end all right at this moment and the other just bloody wishes he could read Harry Potter so I could get people off my back and make me feel like I’ve succeeded in one little way. Yup, I’m getting hassle again from the family 
I was feeling rather pissed off the other day at our lack of progress with both A and M. I felt that in the big 2 areas, Maths and reading we haven’t got anywhere. I feel like I’ve been saying ‘Oh M’s really coming along with his reading. He’s getting there.’ And yes he is, but I just feel like a broken record! So I thought I’d look back through the archives and see how much they had both progressed in the last 6 months or so and tbh I wished I hadn’t!! Rofl! On paper it just doesn’t feel much. It’s hard to gauge how much more comfortable they are with stuff in a tangible way.
So I gave up on that post 
I have noticed something today with M though. We were doing Explode the Code with both A and M before I decided to back off with reading for a bit. M was doing book 3 at his request, he’d mostly got the hang of 3 letter words so we didn’t persevere with all of books 1 and 2. The last time I blogged using it was August I think. M could read the sentences in the book but it was a struggle for him. I think we could have persevered really if I’d wanted to, it was enough of a challenge for him. But today we looked at it again and it really showed how much he’s come on in just the simple reading of a sentence. He seems to have so much confidence in giving it a go, gets most of the words right and is happy about doing it. I’m really happy with it. I still don’t want to push too hard, but really 2 months ‘off’ (from my gruelling hothousing lol!!) has done him the world of good. I think one thing I always worried about happening, if he was at school, was it being too hard for him and for him to get the feeling he was no good at it and for his confidence to be dashed. I think I can safely say that hasn’t happened so far with him being at home. He reads things all the time and tonight while doing bedtime stories he decided he was going to have a go at reading one of the picture books. He read the first page really well, some faltering, but then it wasn’t an easy reader but a picture book for parents to read.
I think I will feel so much better when I’ve got both of them independently reading (don’t we all), I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but the actual getting there when it seems lots of people are waiting for an excuse to point fingers and look down on you has been harder than I ever imagined. It’s the age thing though I think, they expect a lot from M now he’s 7 I think and it’s an easy thing to say ‘oh look he’s not reading’ whereas other aspects of his education aren’t so easily pinpointed. I’m really lucky that my parents are ok with HE and give me no grief, not so lucky with J’s side of the family and there have been a few issues this week. But we’re away for 2 weeks now and it couldn’t have come a moment too soon!
*edit* and I really shouldn’t read the BBc’s Have Your Say bit. If you hear teeth gnashing then it’ll be me (ala Marge Simpson style).
*must* get together when you get back, it’s been far too long!
Comment by jax — November 2, 2007 @ 9:49 pm
definitely. I’ll e-mail you when I get back
Comment by Administrator — November 2, 2007 @ 11:02 pm
I always feel a bit awkward trying to say something re-assuring about learning to read as both of ours did it so early and easily. But, it is true that I know lots of kids of seven and older who aren’t reading yet - and several who have learned at nine or ten. I think its true that the later learners tend to make extremely rapid progress when it starts to click.
Comment by Allie — November 3, 2007 @ 3:33 pm
My two are nearly 9 and not reading for pleasure yet. In fact I have one I am convinced will never find reading a pleasure lol and we have plugged away at it and I have used every reading scheme known to man but it all boils down to them not being ready. I hate the pressure of people saying “Oh can’t they read Harry Potter yet.” e.t.c but I am sure they will do eventually.
Comment by Ruth — November 3, 2007 @ 5:23 pm
Thanks Ruth, good to know I’m not alone! I think it annoys me because I don’t want to feel defensive, or jealous of people who don’t have the same issues. Not sure if jealous is the right word. I just want to chill about it, and I’m not someone who does stress about stuff lots, so I want to get back to normal!
Maybe it’s because with reading you either can’t read, are learning or can so it’s a bit more clear cut in some peoples heads. With things like maths there are so many bits to learn. Maybe?
Anyway, I’ll try to be less touchy on it. I know I am touchy and I hate it, but feel better for letting it out
Comment by Administrator — November 3, 2007 @ 9:27 pm
hugs on the reading, but he IS getting there, and it is much better that he does it at his own pace without feeling that he is behind, cos then when it works, it will all be easy!
Comment by HelenHaricot — November 3, 2007 @ 11:17 pm
I’d like to pick up on some of the things you said. The first is this: “So now that M is at age 7 and not reading for pleasure yet, I’m really feeling it.” There are many, many children who, at age 7 - and 17 and 27 - do not read for pleasure - and I think this is often due to the way schools handle reading. We know that when you take an activity people enjoy and *make* them do it, their inherent pleasure in it is decreased.
You wrote, “But today we looked at it again and it really showed how much he’s come on in just the simple reading of a sentence.” So he *is* learning to read. He’s just not doing it in the way that people are accustomed to seeing, with reading-schemes and reading homework and all the rest. If anyone asked, you can quite truthfully say “He’s learning and it’s really coming along”
And then, “He seems to have so much confidence in giving it a go, gets most of the words right and is happy about doing it.” Now *that*, imo, is the key. He’s enjoying what he’s doing! He *is* reading - maybe not at the level that some expert decrees is right for all children (pah!) but he *is* - and he’s *liking* what he’s doing. I don’t see how you can lose
Comment by Deb — November 6, 2007 @ 8:58 am
From what you say, it sounds as if he has all the reading skills. But to get from there to where you can pick up a book and have it be just plain fun to read it is a very long journey. You have to learn to recognise the majority of common words (hundreds of words) instantly, without thinking about them, be able, with a fair degree of certainty, to figure out the rest, and you need to be able to unscramble grammar and syntax and make sense of sentences very quickly indeed. Getting there is a slog, but if he ‘reads things all the time’ I really don’t think you have any problem except impatience on your part (and your family, of course
).
Comment by Tim — November 6, 2007 @ 9:13 am
Just popped in and was struck by what Tim said.
“But to get from there to where you can pick up a book and have it be just plain fun to read it is a very long journey.”
That wasn’t our experience at all and it was not “a slog” for either of my kids. Once they got the basic idea of phonics (could read a CVC word) they just took off. It was all done and dusted in a few months, with no ‘instruction’. I’ve seen other kids do this too. I’d avoid anything that made reading “a slog” - too much joy lost that way.
Comment by Allie — November 15, 2007 @ 6:53 pm
Point taken - anyway, if M is doing what he is doing, then it seems to me that he will get there soon enough, either way.
Comment by Tim — November 15, 2007 @ 7:26 pm