Life is a Highway - it’s the journey, not the destination

this past week has been quite a nice reintroduction to the British Climate it has to be said We’ve been ever so busy (by my standards) with something happening most days. I’ve taken some photos which are on flickr, mostly of kids out and about enjoying the fresh air. Always good. I also took some photos of a Home Ed Day in Pictures which I’ll blog about soon hopefully.

Only downside to this week has been falling out with my FIL over the whole HE thing. Had started a blog to get out of my system but never finished it. James saying he sticks by our decision regardless of anyone else seemed to make everything just feel better. I do love him!

Seemed to have a little bit of a wobble this morning over local friends. Dunno why, because I’ve never given it much thought. Maybe I had a dream about it last night or something, whatever it was really shook me up. But basically I was feeling pretty crap about our lack of local things that we do (I do tend to be envious when I read of other peoples HE groups and stuff). I can’t seem to penetrate the local scene at all and feel at home there and make good friends for the kids and it really got me down. Reminded me a bit of starting work life. All my school friends seemed to have gone in different directions and I assumed I’d make friends at my first work. As it was it seemed they were all happy with their own friends and I didn’t seem to be very good at getting in with people. I eventually felt I had no-one special to call a good friend, it shaped my whole future and is why I’m so crap in social situations now I’m sure. It seems the same now. I feel like I’m struggling more now than I ever did when starting the HE thing. It’s not like anyone is nasty or unfriendly, I just seem to be just someone who people say hi to, maybe have a little chit chat and that’s it. God I’ve been down here for 18 months and feel lonely as hell sometimes. I just wish I was better at it all, but it just drives me more into my shell and I want to run away and start somewhere new. I suppose I just need to be brave and start asking people if they want to come round. I guess just sometimes it would be nice if someone went out of their way to invite us round to get to know them better and I can’t remember the last time that happened. So the cynic in me thinks it’s because I’m not worth getting to know better or that the kids are annoying as hell and noone wants them as friends for thier kids.

(reading this back, don’t mean to say I don’t feel like the local friends I do have and see aren’t good enough cos they are and I value them loads. I just feel like I aint getting anywhere with anyone else and I suppose wondering about if my social crapness is going to be passed on)

Ok I’ve slapped myself now and will shut up. This wasn’t supposed to be a moany post